He Said, She Said

I.

"I read this article," she said, "about H.L. Mencken."

"Who." he said.

"H.L." she said. "Mencken." she said. "You know. The journalist. Wrote funny stuff."

"Not really." he said.

"Anyway. It doesn't matter." she said. "The point is," she said, "is what this article said---"

"What did it say." he said.

"I'm telling you." she said. "It says about him, about Mencken, you know, H.L. Mencken, that, listen, it says that 'When he attacked'---Mencken---'when he attacked----'"

"He attacked." he said.

"You know." she said.

"Verbally." she said.

"Don't be stupid on purpose." she said.

"I'm not on purpose." he said.

"Don't attack me either like Mencken." he said.

"He didn't attack people. Just, you know, verbally." she said.

"Because he was funny." she said.

"What's your excuse." he said.

"That's not funny." she said. "Not like Mencken. He would be mean but funny." she said.

"Just let me tell you my thing." she said.

"Fine." he said.

"It said---if I can even remember it now---something like 'When Mencken attacked, he left no survivors, but when he praised, it was like Christmas morning.'* That's what it said." she said.

"Okay." he said.

"So." he said.

"That's like you." she said.

II.

"How am I supposed to respond to that." he said.

"I'm just telling you something I thought of." she said.

"Why would you say something like that." he said.

"Look." she said.

"Don't get upset." she said.

"It just struck me." she said.

"How am I supposed to take that." he said.

"Look." she said. "It just reminds me of how you---like, how you make people feel sometimes."

"Are you wanting to tell me something." he said.

"Is this your way of wanting to tell me something." he said.

"I didn't think I was telling you anything." she said.

"Nothing you didn't know." she said.

"Well, I didn't know you felt that way." he said. "And it was rotten of you to bring H.M. Mencken into it. To use some funny guy to tell me."

"H.L." she said.

"What." he said.

"H.L., not H.M." she said.

"As if that mattered." he said.

"As if that were any kind of the point." he said.

"What does that even mean." she said.

"Don't change the subject." he said.

"I'm trying to understand the subject." she said.

"No." he said.

"Look---" she said.

"No." he said.

"Fine." she said.

"Fine." he said.

*