Milking A Cow

"If an actor knows how to milk a cow, I always know it will not be difficult to be in business with him." Herzog has also previously claimed that when he walks into a room, he can tell who there has previously had hand to udder. Or, at the very least, would. "I can tell from miles away, yes," he confirms. "Woody Allen is not ever going to milk a cow."
~ A GQ Interview with Werner Hertzog

is more difficult than you might think. Like driving a car. I remember being very surprised the first time I drove a car, that you do not simply press the gas, continuously and with the same level of pressure, to go and press the break, continuously and with the same level of pressure, to stop. It came as a shock that you must be attentive to both the break and the gas pedals, pressing and releasing each often --- but equally often you must do so quite lightly, hardly at all. I remember being surprised that the car would continue to move forward when I was not pressing the gas pedal, and that it might slow and slow to a stop without applying pressure to the breaks.

You do not simply pull on a cow's teat. It is more a matter of manipulating the udder in such a way as to pull the milk down through the teat and into your pail. It is not like tugging on a thick bell-pull to call the servants. It is more like massaging the hand of a friend in trouble. Like pulling a friend in trouble away from a fence-line along a cliff's edge --- with compassion, but also with determination. It will feel as if you are doing something to relieve the cow, to help her. But instead, it is something you are doing to help yourself and your family. Voila! Milk!